Waiting Hearts
by Keaton Bridges
Summary: Tragedy strikes 22 months after Voyager's return, but could it mean that Kathryn and Chakotay will finally find happiness together? Character death, JC
1. Default Chapter

Voyager and all characters are the property of Paramount

Chapter 1.

22 months after Voyager's return to Earth

Kathryn Janeway took a cup of coffee from the replicator then moved into her livingroom to sit on the ottoman by the fireplace. Staring into the flames she went over the terrible news she had recieved from Tom Paris earlier.

"Good evening, Tom!" Kathryn had said cheerfully to the familiar face on the monitor, sure this was just a friendly call from her former helmsman.

"Good evening, Kathryn." Tom said, still a bit uncomfortable calling her by name although she insisted. Kathryn's smile faded when she heard his tone. "At least I wish it was good." Tom added.

"Tom? What's wrong?" Kathryn asked.

He exhaled. "I'm afraid I have bad news. It's about Seven."

Kathryn realized she was holding her breath. "Tom?" she finally said, seeing the sadness in his eyes.

"Seven is dead." he said softly.

"No," Kathryn whispered, then quickly added, "How? When?" Her emotions reeling, she kept her gaze affixed on Tom.

"There was an accident. I was on Starbase 5 awaiting departure when I ran into Professor Fitz from the anthropology department at the academy." He paused for a moment, swallowed then continued. "He said Chakotay had told him that Seven's physician had instructed her to stay close to home because the baby was due any day."

"Oh my God," Kathryn moaned, "the baby."

"The baby survived, " Tom said quickly, "she's fine. Anyway, Chakotay was working late tying up loose ends before starting his parental leave and you know how Seven is...was." Tom's eyes misted, his expression one of great pain. "Never one to sit idle, she took a shuttle to take Chakotay dinner. Her shuttle...there was an accident..." He didn't need to go on. Kathryn was staring at the monitor in shock. For a moment, she lowered her head and closed her eyes. It was too much to accept. When she looked back up she saw Tom's concern for her.

"Chakotay?" she asked weakly.

"Professor Fitz said he's in shock of course, but has insisted on taking care of the baby himself. He's on indefinate leave."

"Where are they?" Kathryn asked.

"As far as I know, they're at their home in Churchill." Tom answered.

Kathryn was silent again, trying to take it all in. Seven, gone. Chakotay left alone with a newborn. "I don't know what to do," she said barely above a whisper, "but I feel I should do _something_."

"It happened a week ago. There was a private service." Tom said. "I'm at a loss too. I don't know if he'd rather be alone, or if it would do him good to have his friends around him." He paused, choosing his words carefully. "You know him better than anyone. I wanted to check with you before I did anything. Outside of B'Elanna, I haven't told anyone."

"Oh, forgive me Tom. How is B'Elanna?" Kathryn said.

"She's ready to have this baby." Tom said, smiling slightly. "This little fella has been a lot tougher on her than Miral was." His smile faded as he added "She took it hard."

"Please tell her hello for me." Kathryn said absently. "Tom, let me think about this. May I call you tomorrow?"

"Sure," he said with a nod. "Goodnight, Captain." He smiled. Calling her captain was a term of endearment now.

Kathry reached out and placed her fingertips on the screen as if to touch his shoulder. "Goodbye, Tom." she said softly.

As she continued to stare at the flames, memories flooded her mind...

The day she had officiated at their wedding, joining Chakotay and Seven in marriage. At their wish, the ceremony had taken place on Voyager while she was in dock with almost the entire former crew present. The doctor had proudly done the honor of giving Seven away, an old tradition she had researched and insisted upon. Kathryn had felt the love Chakotay and Seven had for each other and she was genuinely happy for them, although all too aware of the bittersweetness within her heart.

Next she remembered the day Chakotay had called, happy beyond measure and seemingly about to burst, announcing that Seven was pregnant. Kathryn had agreed to meet them for dinner to celebrate their wonderful news. Their joy was contageous. Seven had finally taken to smiling often, even laughing. It had been a truly wonderful evening, one Kathryn would never forget.

Shaking her head to clear her mind, Kathryn then stood and went to the large window to look up at the nearly full moon. Her heart had felt thepain of loss before yet this was somehow worse. Kathryn had almost felt like a mother to Seven. Their years together aboard Voyager so far from home had brought them very close with a bond much stronger than mere friendship. They had become family.

Before she could change her mind, she went to her desk and placed the call. A moment later Chakotay's face appeared. He looked tired but glad to see her.

"Kathryn." he said softly.

"Hello, Chakotay." Kathryn said. The tone in her voice told him she had recieved the news. For a moment they just looked at each other. "I'm so very sorry." she added, her voice almost failing her.

"Thank you." he said, "I'm sorry I haven't called."

"It's alright," Kathryn said quickly, "I just had to..."

"Thanks." he said, forcing a brief smile.

"How is the baby?" Kathryn said, quickly brushing away a tear.

"She's fine." Chakotay answered, his expression brightening a bit. He stepped aside and Kathryn saw his tiny daughter sleeping in the cradle he had made for her. When his face reappeared he said "She's a treasure."

"I can't wait to see her." Kathryn said, finally trusting her voice again. "You're a _father_, Chakotay." she added, almost as if it were a miracle. The sadness descended on his face again.

"I don't know what I would have done if I'd lost them both." he said thoughtfully. Kathryn's heart was breaking and it took everything she had to hold herself together. "What's her name?" she asked. He glanced over his shoulder toward the baby then his gaze returned to Kathryn. She was glad to see the boyish grin she was so fond of.

"Kathryn," he answered, enjoying the look of surprise on her face. "Katie for short."

Kathryn Janeway was not often speechless but this was one of those moments.

"It was Seven's idea," Chakotay went on, "we talked about it just days before..." He was unable to finish.

"I'm honored." Kathryn said, finally regaining her voice. She brushed away another tear. "Thrilled and honored." There was another long moment of their just looking at one another, but much was said. "I have some time before my next assignment. Are you up to a visit? I promist I won't..."

"I'd like that." he interrupted.

Kathryn smiled. "Is tomorrow too soon?" she asked.

"Not at all." He said with an easy smile. "Katie and I will be waiting."

"Tomorrow then. Goodbye, Chakotay." she said.

"Goodbye." he said softly, and then was gone.

Kathryn turned off the monitor then stood slowly and went to the sofa. As she gazed again at the moon, her chin began to quiver and there was no holding it back any longer. Covering her face with her hands, she let go and allowed herself to cry.

Chakotay opened the door and smiled at Kathryn. He had a baby bottle in one hand and a small pink blanket over one shoulder. Kathryn stepped closer and they reached for each other in a warm hug.

"It's good to see you." he said, holding her tight.

"Good to see you too." Kathryn said as she stepped away and placed a palm on his chest, looking at him again.

"Come in!" He said as he stepped aside. Kathryn entered and he closed the door. "I just got her down. She's fussy today." He nodded toward the cradle and Kathryn approached, her hands clasped at her chest. For a long moment she stood looking down at the sleeping infant then after a quick glance at Chakotay, sat on the floor by the cradle. Carefully she pulled back the blanket to get a better look at the baby. Chakotay stood over them watching, his pain forgotten for the moment in his pride over Katie and happiness at seeing Kathryn.

"She's so beautiful," Kathryn whispered, "and she has so much hair!"

"The doctor commented on her hair too." Chakotay said as he sat on the sofa and put the bottle down on the endtable. He removed the blanket from his shoulder, folded it and tossed it onto the sofa arm.

"_Our_ doctor?" she asked, meaning the EMH.

"Yes. He called yesterday too." Chakotay said, watching Kathryn replace the blanket on Katie.

"She looks like you." Kathryn said. She got up and sat sideways on the sofa facing him. Chakotay seemed lost in thought as he gazed at Katie.

"I miss her." he said barely above a whisper. Kathryn reached over to place her had over his as he went on. "She had come so far...she was enjoying every minute of this pregnancy." A slight smile played over his lips. "I wish you could've seen her the day she first felt the baby move. We were having dinner and suddenly her eyes got wide. She nearly tore my arm from the socket to put my hand on her stomach." He paused and the smile faded. "I couldn't feel anything, but I lied and said that I did."

Kathryn saw his shoulders slump as a lone tear trickled over his cheek. She moved closer and put an arm around his shoulder then rested her forehead against his temple. She felt the sobs shake his body yet he made no sound, and she remained close as he wept for his wife, his Seven.

Moments later when Katie stirred, Kathryn gasped. Chakotay turned quickly to look at Kathryn then began to laugh, his face still wet with tears.

"What is so funny?" she said as she pulled away and feigned indignance, taking advantage of a lighter moment. Chakotay quickly dried his face with the folded blanket, still laughing.

"I've seen you stand up to hostile aliens, but this tiny little person frightens you." he answered.

"She did not _frighten_ me, she _startled_ me." Kathryn said clearly then moved to sit on the floor again. Katie had settled and Kathryn gently tucked the blanket back around her.

"You should be around at 0300 for the real noise." Chakotay said with a smile.

"Oh, she can't make _that_ much noise," Kathryn scoffed, "she's too small."

"You have no idea." Chakotay said with a chuckle. "This one is very demanding."

They were quiet for several moments just watching Katie sleep. Chakotay leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "She'll be asleep for at least a couple hours. How about some lunch?"

"I don't want to impose.." Kathryn began.

"Well, I'm hungry." He said as he stood, offering her a hand up. "So you may as well have something too." When she was on her feet he leaned down slightly and grinned. "I'd like the company."

"Alright," she said, poking his chest with her forefinger. "you talked me into it."

"Good." he said as he went toward the kitchen. "How does a salad sound?"

"Sounds good to me." she answered, following him. "What can I do?"

When they had washed up at the sink, Chakotay took a head of lettuce, tomatoes and cucumbers from the refrigerator. "Tear this." he said as he handed her the lettuce. "There are bowls in that cabinet," he added, pointing, "and utensils in the island drawer."

"Yes, Sir!" she said with a smile and went to get the bowls. Chakotay began cutting the tomatoes and cucumbers on one side of the island as Kathryn stood on the other side and tore lettuce into the bowls. "Will you have help with the baby?" she asked.

"You mean when I go back to work?" he asked. Kathryn nodded. "Yes, we...I have a nanny arranged. She's waiting on my call."

"That's good." she said. He had forgotten for a moment, his loss still so new.

"How've you been, Kathryn?" Chakotay said, his tone lighter.

"I've been very busy over the last few months, which is fine with me." she answered, catching his smile. He knew her too well. "But now, the powers that be think I need a rest! So I'm on four weeks leave. I don't know what they expect me to do with myself."

"You can stick around and spend some time with your new niece." Chakotay said as he stepped to the sink to rinse his hands. He had used the word niece becausehe knew how closeKathryn would be to Katie as she grew up.

Kathry mouthed the word 'damn' then said, "I wasn't fishing for an invitation."

"What's the matter?" he teased as he went back to the island, this time beside her. "Scared?"

"Of what?" she said, forcing a scowl. Chakotay jerked his head toward the livingroom indicating Katie. "Certainly not!" she retorted with a chuckle. Chakotay picked up a towel to dry his hands as he turned to face her.

"Then say you'll stay for a while." he said as if daring her. Kathryn placed the cucumbers and tomatoes in the bowls then turned to face him, took the towel from him to dry her own hands.

"Even you made reference that I'm better with aliens than with a baby." she said, turning the tease on him.

"It's never too late to learn." he said, grinning.

"I don't have any clothes with me." she said, tossing the towel onto the island.

"I have a replicator." he retorted.

"Chakotay," she said seriously, "this is a very personal time for you. People will be calling, coming by. I don't want to be in the way."

"First of all," he said, "you will _not_ be in the way, and second, most anyone that comes by you'll know. They'll be glad to see you."

Kathryn opened her mouth, about to speak another excuse when Chakotay leaned a bit toward her and said;

"Kathryn, don't make me beg."

Her eyes twinkled and she threw up her hands. "Alright!"

"Good!" he said as he picked up the bowls of salad and moved toward the table.

"But you've been warned. I won't be of much use with the baby."

Chakotay put the bowls down then went to get the dressing. "I'm not worried," he said with a grin as he walked past her. "I'll make an old pro of you yet."

"Don't count on it." she quipped.

Over lunch and long after their meal was done, they talked of many things, comfortable with each other as had always been the case with them. It seemed to do Chakotay good , at least temporarily taking his mind off his grief. Kathryn was happy to be with him and for the chance to ease his pain even if only for a little while. Much of their conversation revolved around the senior staff of Voyager. They had stayed in touch after returning to Earth. They had left crewmates and returned as family. Though each had gone their own way in their lives and careers, they continued to check in on each other. This pleased Kathryn and she did her part as well.

"Tom and B'Elanna are so excited about their son coming." Kathryn said when there had been a lull in their conversation. At that moment Katie began to fuss and Chakotay stood to go to her.

"I think my girl is awake." he said.

"Oh good!" Kathryn said as she stood, reaching to clear their dishes.

"Leave 'em," he chuckled, "Katie waits for no one."

Kathryn followed him into the livingroom where they found Katie with her fists clenched, about to let out a wail. She immediately calmed when Chakotay bent and scooped her up.

"Hello, Sleepyhead." he said softly. "There's someone here to see you." He cradled her in the crook of his arm and Kathryn came closer to get a better look at this little person, her namesake.

"Hello, Katie." she said, smiling broadly. "I'm your Aunt Kathryn." She drew in her breath. "How pretty you are!" Glancing up at Chakotay, who was positively beaming, she said: "She has your eyes." Looking back at Katie, she whispered; "I can't get get over how beautiful she is."

"She is, isn't she?" he said with pride, still gazing upon his daughter's face. Katie began to wriggle and Chakotay moved her to his shoulder. He crinkled his nose as he caught a whiff of her diaper and one look at the expression on Kathryn's face told him she'd caught it too. At the same time they each took a small step backwards.

"You want diaper duty or bottle duty?" he asked, pretending to be serious.

"Bottle!" Kathryn said quickly.

"Coward." he teased, turning to go to the nursery. "Come on Katie. Auntie Kathryn can't handle this, but your old Dad'll take care of you." Just as he turned into the nursery he glanced back at Kathryn who was standing, hands on hips, smiling and shaking her head.

Chakotay was just finishing up when Kathryn came in with the bottle.

"Katie, look who shows up now that the dirty work's done." Chakotay said as he picked Katie up. Kathryn playfully smacked his arm.

"But look what I brought you." she said, waving the bottle.

"You want to feed her?" Chakotay asked. Kathryn nodded and he motioned toward the rocking chair nearby. When she had settled in it, he put Katie in her arms then tucked a bib under Katie's chin. "Did you test the temperature?" he asked, leaning on the arms of the rocker.

"On my wrist," she answered, gazing down at Katie, "I'm not completely inept." She offered the bottle, touching the nipple to Katie's pink lips. The infant immediately latched on and ate hungrily, making soft gulping sounds.

"She's quite an eater." Chakotay said as he sat on the ottoman near Kathryn's knees.

"I see that." Kathryn said, amazed.

"Well, how does it feel?" he asked.

"Amazing." she answered softly then leaned down to kiss Katie's forehead. Just then a call came in and Chakotay looked at her, brows raised in question.

"Go on," she said, "we'll be fine."

As Chakotay stood he said; "Burp her after two ounces." When he was out of earshot, Kathryn said;

"Aye aye, Daddy."

Left alone with the baby, Kathryn felt herself relax and enjoy the experience. It almost felt completely natural although it had been many years since she'd held an infant. When she heard Chakotay's voice in the distance, she began to speak softly to her tiny captive.

"Sweet Katie, you're such a little doll. And do you have any idea what a wonderful daddy you have? Or how much he loves you, and how proud he is of you?" Katie stopped eating and listened intently to Kathryn's voice. "Your mother was a remarkable woman too." she went on, "Someday you will hear all about her. Your daddy and I will make sure you know what a wonderful person she was. You know, in a way _you_ gave _her_ life." Kathryn leaned her head against the chair and stared straight ahead as she went on. "When she knew you were on the way, she blossomed, so filled with joy. I'd never seen her so happy." Her gaze went back to Katie. "She couldn't wait to see you, to see the little person she and your daddy had created." Her voice failed and she blinked back tears, unaware that Chakotay was standing in the hallway. Leaning agains the wall outside the nursery door, Chakotay closed his eyes as tears trickled from under his dark lashes. He listened as Kathryn spoke again, her voice stronger now. "Sometimes, Little One, life doesn't turn out as we'd planned or hoped for. It's up to us to be strong and to go on with our lives though, to find happiness where we can. Those we've lost would want that for us."

Chakotay brushed away his tears, composed himself and walked into the nursery.

"That was Harry," he said as he sat on the ottoman. "I guess word is getting around. I should make some calls."

Kathryn had moved Katie to her shoulder and was patting her firmly. Chakotay picked up the bottle to see how much Katie had taken. When Katie had burped Kathryn settled her back in her arms and reached for the bottle. "Chakotay, maybe I _should_ go.." she began.

"I though we had this settled." he said and reached out to stroke Katie's black, silky hair. "Katie wants you to stay too." There was pleading in his eyes.

"Alright," Kathryn said softly. "but you'll tell me if you change your mind?"

"That won't happen, but I promise." he said with a slight smile.

When Katie had finished and was soundly sleeping, Kathryn carefully stood and put her in the crib. Chakotay covered her with a light blanket then leaned down to kiss her cheek.

"I have some calls to make," Kathryn said in a whisper, "to let some people know where I'll be."

"Help yourself." Chakotay said as he stepped around her and sat in the rocking chair. "I'm going to sit in here for a while."

Kathryn nodded and gently patted his forearm. Turning to leave she heard him say her name, turned to face him. Her heart wrenched at the sadness in his face.

"Thank you for being here," he said quietly, "it means a lot to me."

She wanted to tell him that she would _always_ be there for him but the lump in her throat would not allow it. Hoping her eyes spoke for her, she nodded slowly then left the room.

Chakotay turned back to watch Katie sleep. The ache in his heart and spirit was almost overwhelming, yet he knew he would be alright. He had this precious baby girl to help ease the pain and loving friends to see him through.

Kathryn found him later on his back porch in one of the rocking chairs, his feet crossed over the bannister. He seemed to be deep in thought and she paused half in, half out the door, not wanting to intrude. When she moved to go back inside, he said; "Come. Join me." Kathryn took the rocker next to his. He was staring at the trees beyond his backyard when he began to speak.

"Seven spoke of you the night before she died. She asked me if I thought you would visit when the baby was born."

"She had to know nothing could keep me away." Kathryn almost whispered.

"She knows how busy you are." he said, immediately realizing he'd used present tense but continued. "I think she just had you on her mind. You meant a great deal to her."

"As she did to me." Kathryn said, barely able to speak.

"She would never admit it," he went on, "but she was nervous about the birth. Even more about being a mother." He rested his head agains the chair and looked skyward. "We were happy, Kathryn."

"I know." she said quietly, her heart aching for him.

"I felt so settled...so complete, for the first time in my life. I think she felt the same way too. She was opening up little by little...I loved to hear her laugh." He turned his head to look at Kathryn and saw the sympathy and understanding in her eyes. He was thankful for her. "If it weren't for you, I never would've had this life with her, or our baby."

Kathryn leaned back and looked up at the cottony clouds in the distance, feeling his eyes still on her. She put her hand on his forearm and left it there, needing the contact. From the corner of her eyes, she saw him glance down at her hand then look back toward the sky.

"Harry's coming by tomorrow." he said.

"Oh it'll be good to see him." she replied.

"He was so sad when we spoke. He's always been so sensitive."

There was a long silent pause before Kathryn said; "I spoke to Tom earlier."

"How are Tom and B'Elanna, and Miral?"

"They're doing well." she said, clasping her hands now around her raised knee. "They're concerned for you." When he didn't respond she added. "They want to come by. Tom said he'd call you in a few days."

"B'Elanna is due soon, isn't she?" Chakotay asked.

"Not soon enough according to Tom." she said. They both smiled. A moment later Kathry changed the subject when she mentioned the lovely flower garden in the back yard. She was very surprised when Chakotay told her it was Seven's doing.

"She found a picture in a magazine and set out to create one just like it." he explained. "I came home early one day and there she was, sitting on the ground with all these containers of flowers all around her, a trowel in one hand, dirt all over her face. She got very upset with me for ruining the surprise..." His voice trailed off before he stood and said "I'd better check on Katie." Kathryn stood and went into the house with him. As he went down the hall toward the nursery Kathryn settled in the large leather chair, removing her shoes and pulling her feet up beside her. She glanced around the cozy, comfortable room. The influence seemed to be more Chakotay's than Seven's.

"Still sleeping like a baby." Chakotay joked when he returned and sat on the sofa across from her. She chuckled.

"Coffee?" he said, starting to get back up.

"No, no, I'm fine." she said, waving him back down. Her eyes settled on a large abstract painting behind his head. "That really is beautiful." she said, nodding toward the painting.

"One of my students gave it to me." he said as he rolled up his shirtsleeves. "She inherited it from her grandmother, and hated it." He glanced at it over his shoulder then added; "She claimed it reminded her of me."

Kathryn's eyebrows raised. "And she _hated_ it?"

Chakotay smiled. "She was the fiesty type that always spoke her mind."

Kathryn shot him a look, knowing he was talking about _her_ kind. He winked.

"I hope I don't have to tell you to make yourself at home. This house is your house for as long as you'll stay."

"Thank you."

"The guestroom is across from the nursery. I think you'll be comfortable."

"I'm sure I will be." Kathryn said, then changed the subject. "How's your work going?"

"It's very different from being on a starship, of course, but I wanted a change." he answered.

"You're still enjoying it?"

"Yes. For the most part. Sometimes I still have to remind the students that I'm not there to entertain them with Voyager stories."

Kathryn laughed. "You were quite the celebrity there for a while."

"We all were." he reminded her.

"Do you ever miss it? Being on a starship?" she asked, watching closely for his reaction.

"Of course," he said without hesitation, "but that part of my life is over, at least for the next twenty years or so." Kathryn understood. He had a daughter to raise.

"By then, I'll be a little long in the tooth to be crawling on a starship." he teased, grinning at her. Kathryn smiled and shook her head. "What about you? Do you ever think of making a big change in your life?"

"Rarely," she answered, "I'm too old for that now."

"Oh come on, that's nonsense."

"Well, thank you for the compliment, but what I mean is it's a little late in the game to be changing my life around."

"We're not that far apart in age, Kathryn. It can be done." he said more seriously.

"Chakotay, you know me well. You know my place is on the bridge of a ship. That _is_ my life."

"I know." he said. Kathryn thought she heard resignation in his voice. Unsure where he was trying to go with this conversation, she got up.

"I think I'll have that coffee after all. Can I get you something?"

"No, thanks." he said, watching her leave and knowing she would never change. Behind the Kathryn that had been with him this afternoon was the more rigid, business-like Captain Janeway. The two were never far from each other. She was a complicated woman, always in control, or almost. Only once or twice in all the years he'd known her had he seen her clinging to that control with her nails and the skin of her teeth. Still, she was very special to him and he loved her in his own way just as he knew she loved him in her own way. Their friendship ran deep, forged on their long journey aboard Voyager, working together to get their crew home.

"Penny for your thoughts." Kathryn said as she returned with the coffee and paused by his chair. He was about to answer her when a call came in. "I'll go check out my quarters." she said with a smile, going toward the hall to give him some privacy. Kathryn stepped into the room and looked around, pleasantly surprised. It was almost as if it had been decorated with her in mind. There was a heavy antique bed dressed with a quilt in sage green, rose and cream. In the corner was the perfect reading nook - a sturdy but comfortable looking wingback chair, large round ottoman and a lovely floorlamp. It was so very feminine, cozy and comfortable.

"Like it?" Chakotay asked from behind her.

"It's lovely." she answered.

"Seven found another picture in a magazine." he said as they stepped into the hallway and turned toward the livingroom. "What would you like for dinner?"

"I hadn't thought about dinner..we just had lunch." she said as she sat in the leather chair. "Did you have something in mind?"

"Steaks." he answered as he stood by her, hands on hips.

"Oh, the doctor says I shouldn't eat red meat..." she began, placing one hand on her middle. Suddenly her head snapped up to look at him. "You're a vegetarian!"

Chakotay laughed. "I fell off the wagon." He leaned forward and rested his hands on the arm of her chair. "The doctor won't hear a word from me. Come on, live a little."

"I'm in." Kathryn said with a chuckle.

Later Katie awakened for her feeding and they enjoyed her together. Chakotay filled Kathryn in on Katie's time of birth, weight and length. He then told her of his adventures with middle of the night feedings and diaper changes the first few days she was home, accomplishing his tasks by trial and error. Most comical of all was the story of Katie's first bath. Kathryn laughed until her sides hurt.

"Here I was thinking all this had come so naturally to you," she said, catching her breath, "only to find out you were as lost as I would've been."

"Do you hear this, Katie?" Chakotay said to his daughter nestled in his arms. "She's making fun of your old dad."

Kathryn watched him feeding her and was filled with great tenderness. The sight of him so carefully handling his baby daughter only made her more aware of how special he was. She also knew that if Katie had not survived, he would be in serious emotional trouble right now. She silently thanked his spirits for allowing him to have his daughter, his little saviour.

When Katie was asleep again and tucked in, Kathryn followed Chakotay into the kitchen and watched him prepare a spice rub for their steaks. He seemed so at ease in this kitchen. She herself hated cooking but delighted in watching those who had a talent for it.

"Where did you learn to cook?" she asked.

"I learned out of necessity when my father took me into the forest for days on end." he answered as he stepped to a small herb garden in a container on the windowsill. He chose several then came back to the island and began crushing them. "He was a horrible cook." he said, smiling.

"I don't remember your cooking much on Voyager." Kathryn said.

"It was easier to use the replicators." he said, glancing up at her. "I could say the same for you, you know."

There was a long quiet period as she watched him add different spices to the crushed herbs.

"Seven tried to learn," Chakotay said softly, "but she became so frustrated when things didn't turn out as she expected, she all but gave it up. You know how she was about perfection."

Kathryn didn't answer but nodded thoughtfully.

Chakotay took two steaks from the refrigerator and firmly rubbed the concoctiononto both sides of them then stepped to the sink to rinse his hands. After turning off the water he reached for a towel and dried his hands, gazing out the window at Seven's flower garden. Kathryn remained silent, allowing him his private thoughts. Turning around Chakotay leaned against the counter, tossing the towel aside.

"I've been thinking about something and I'd like your opinion."

Kathryn pulled up a stool and sat, resting her crossed arms on the island. Chakotay paused for a moment before he spoke.

"Since I'm all Katie has now, I've been thinking about what would happen to her if I wasn't around. How do you think Tom and B'Elanna would feel about being her guardians?"

"I think they'd be honored." Kathryn said with an easy smile. "They're wonderful parents. I think they are an excellent choice."

"It's a big responsibility to take on." he said. "And they're having their second baby. It would mean three little ones instead of two." He crossed his arms and looked upward. "Maybe it's too much to ask."

"Ask them." Kathryn said. Chakotay's eyes met hers as she added, "I don't think they'll disappoint you."

Chakotay smiled broadly. "Have I said 'thank you for coming'?"

"You have," Kathryn said as she stood and went to him. They hugged briefly. When she stepped away she said "I'm glad to be here."


	2. Waiting Hearts Chapter 2

Kathryn was awakened shortly before 0300 by Katie's cries, making her sit straight up in bed. Once she remembered where she was, she smiled sleepily. Chakotay was right - that little lady could make quite a racket! As she pulled on the robe she had replicated she heard Chakotay's voice as he passed her door. "Shhhh... you're going to wake Aunt Kathryn." She went quietly to the kitchen door as Katie continued to put up a fuss. She watched for a few moments as Chakotay tried to hold his very vocal daughter and prepare a bottle at the same time.

"Can I help?" Kathryn said, coming into the kitchen.

"Now see what you've done?" he said to Katie in a mock scolding. "You woke Aunt Kathryn." He turned and smiled, handed over Katie then went back to preparing the bottle. Kathryn cradled Katie and began to talk to her. As before, Katie settled and listened intently.

"Are you giving your daddy a hard time? I know, I know... the tank's on empty, isn't it?" Chakotay's back was to them and he smiled at the way she had phrased it. He listened as she went on. "He's going as fast as he can, Little One. What's that? Tell him to go to warp?" Kathryn looked up and addressed Chakotay. "Katie says hurry it up over there."

Chakotay turned and approached them with the bottle. Kathryn noticed his sleepy eyes and tousled hair and she forced back a smile, wondering what she herself must look like. Kathryn handed Katie back to him then followed him into the livingroom where they settled on the sofa. As Kathryn sat sideways by him she pulled her feet up beside her.

"I'm sorry we woke you. Go back to bed." Chakotay said softly.

"In a while." she said, watching Katie eat hungrily.

"Didn't I tell you she was loud?" he said with a chuckle.

"She sure is." Kathryn said, noticing him stroking Katie's tiny foot with his thumb. "You're so good at this, Chakotay."

"Surprised?" he asked, grinning at her.

"A little, yes." she said, still looking at Katie. "But I always knew you had this gentle side."

Chakotay looked back down at Katie. "These little creatures have a way of bringing that out in people." he said thoughtfully, then looking at Kathryn he added, "She's done it to you, too, you know."

Kathryn glanced up at him with a slight smile, choosing to ignore that comment. "I still can't get over how tiny she is."

"She's only nine days old," Chakotay said, "give her some time."

"I know. It's just that it's been a long time since I've been around a newborn. I wasn't here when my sister's children were born." She reached out to hold Katie's tiny fist. "They're so innocent and vulnerable when they come here." she said, almost whispering. They were quiet for a long time just watching Katie. Kathryn remembered Chakotay's words '_I don't know what I would've done if I'd lost them both'_. Glancing up she saw the pride and adoration in his face, and once again she was so very thankful for this baby. When tears threatened to spill Kathryn got up and went to the kitchen. Chakotay heard her order coffee from the replicator.

"You won't be able to get back to sleep." he said with a smile as she settled back beside him.

"Oh yes I will. I developed an immunity years ago."

Following a burp, Katie refused more formula and instead drifted to sleep in her father's arms. "I'll go put her down." Chakotay said quietly. "I'll be right back."

"Aren't you going back to bed?" Kathryn asked as she lifted the cup to her lips.

"Not yet," he said, "I have something for you. Hold on."

When Chakotay came back he crossed the room to a cabinet, took something from a small drawer then came toward Kathryn. As he sat beside her, she accepted the framed photo, at the same time putting her coffee cup on the end table.

"That was six months ago." Chakotay said softly. Kathryn gazed at the photo for a long time. It was Chakotay and Seven at the beach. He sat on a large rock wearing jeans and a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Seven sat on the sand between his knees, one arm draped over his thigh, also wearing jeans and a white shirt. Chakotay had a hand on her shoulder and they both were barefoot. Their smiles were wide, their happiness as abundant as the ocean behind them. Six months ago, Kathryn thought...they had known their child was on the way.

"It's wonderful, Chakotay." Kathryn whispered.

"Seven wanted you to have it. She was going to give it to you the next time you visited."

Kathryn suddenly brought the photo closer then looked up at him. "Her occular implant."

Chakotay took the photo from her hand and looked at it as he spoke. "She had the studio remove it from the picture." he explained. "She was always hopeful a way would be found to remove it. But it wasn't a priority with the medical community. I mean, there weren't a lot of x-borg around." A tinge of anger had entered his tone and he paused, forcing it down. His voice softened as he continued. "It meant so much to her to look like everyone else. She insisted on this portrait mostly for the baby. She wanted our child to have a picture of her normal parents." He handed the photo back to Kathryn. She touched the photo with her findertips. "I will treasure this. Thank you."

Kathryn was sitting at the table in the morning with her coffee when Chakotay came in with Katie nestled against his cheek. She and Chakotay said "Good morning." at the same time.

"How's Katie Bug this morning?" Kathryn asked.

"She's ready for a bath just like her old man." he answered. "Will you hold her while I get a cup of coffee?"

"I'd love to." Kathryn said as she held out her arms. She accepted the wriggling bundle and began to talk to her. "Good morning Little One. Look at you, all bright eyed, and even prettier than yesterday! How'd you do that?"

Chakotay had poured himself a cup of coffee, pleased that Kathryn had made real coffee instead of replicating it. He turned to face them, leaning against the counter as he drank his coffee. "She's very taken with you." he said to Kathryn.

Kathryn shot him a smile. "I can feel myself being wrapped very tightly."

"No shields can protect you from that." he said, almost sadly. Kathryn was unaware of the vivid dream he'd had of Seven and how heavily it weighed on his mind.

"Do you trust me to bathe her?" Kathryn asked as he came to sit across from her. "You could have your bath and some time to yourself."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"I wouldn't have offered otherwise." Kathryn said with a kind smile.

"Alright then," he said, "I'll show you where everything is when I finish my coffee."

Chakotay found them later in the livingroom, Katie in her cradle, Kathryn sitting on the floor beside her.

"How'd it go?" he asked with a smile as he toweled his hair.

"See for yourself. I didn't break her." Kathryn joked. "Katie was very cooperative."

"That's my girl." Chakotay said as he reached down to gently jiggle Katie. "We have to break Aunt Kathy in gently." He looked at Kathryn with a sly smile as he stood, tossed the towel onto the sofa and began to fasten his shirt. By the glare he received he knew she wasn't going to go for 'Kathy'. "Did you have some breakfast?" he asked, quickly changing the subject.

"I'm still having it." she answered as she took the cup from the floor by her knee and lifted it up. He rolled his eyes, thinking that someday she would surely turn into a cup of coffee.

"I almost forgot," Chakotay said "Katie's pediatrician is coming by to check on her around 0900."

"Then I'd better get my own bath." she said as she got up from the floor and poked him gently in the chest with a forefinger. She took another glance at Katie then went down the hall.

She settled into the tub with a sigh and closed her eyes, relishing the feel and smell of the almost too hot, scented water. All the years of sonic showers had served to deepen her appreciation for long soaking baths.

Though her presence here was because of terrible circumstances, Kathryn was enjoying this time with Chakotay. He needed her now and she was more than happy to be there for him. And then there was Katie. Never could she remember having been so taken with a child, not even her niece and nephew. Chakotay was obviously under Katie's spell as well, and thankfully so. Kathryn was quite sure Katie was holding him together right now.

When Kathryn later entered the livingroom she found Chakotay on the sofa with Katie in his arms. He glanced up at her and smiled.

"Katie was just telling me how much she likes you." he said.

Kathryn shook her head, smiling, and sat down beside them. "Tell Miss Katie Bug that I'm quite pleased with her, too."

The doctor made his appearance and pronounced Katie in perfect health. He was a kind, older gentleman and Kathryn liked him right away. When he told her that Seven had spoken of her often during her prenatal visits, Kathryn was both surprised and flattered. He went on to say that Seven had fully credited Captain Janeway for her very existance, for giving her the happy life she was enjoying. Kathryn was so touched she could not respond.

"Kathryn's responsible for getting us all home." Chakotay had said softly. He smiled at Kathryn who still could find no words.

After Katie's next feeding when she'd been tucked in, Chakotay and Kathryn went out onto the back porch and settled into the large wooden rockers. Chakotay seemed to be lost in thought again and Kathryn remained quiet. She had brought out a cup of coffee and as she lifted it to her lips, from the corner of her eye she saw him looking at her. She took a sip of coffee then turned to meet his gaze. The look on his face was strange.

"Chakotay?" she said quietly.

"Kathryn, I had so many things yet to say to Seven. Now my chance is gone. If I've learned anything from losing her, it's to say what's on my mind." He paused, saw understanding in her eyes. "I have something to say to you but first I need to know that you'll hear me out."

"I'm not going anywhere." Kathryn said, steeling herself for what was coming and placing her cup on the small table between them.

Chakotay turned a little in his chair to face her and chose his words carefully. "For years I waited for you to see or acknowledge how I felt about you. I knew why you couldn't, and as much as I hated your reasons, I understood." He paused, trying to gage her response. It was taking everything in her to keep him from doing exactly that while keeping eye contact. "For a long time it was almost enough just to be near you, knowing you cared about me in your own way, even if it wasn't the same way I felt about you." Kathryn realized she was holding her breath and silently, slowly exhaled. Chakotay's gaze went to a spot in the backyard as he went on. "To this day I can't remember when I...when I turned my attention to Seven. At first, I think, I was hoping you'd hear about it and be angry. That way it would've been easier to let go of what I wanted for us, you and me. Either that, or you'd change your mind about keeping me at a distance. I don't know." He slightly shook his head. His gaze remained distant and after a few moments he went on. "But then I fell for her. I didn't really even realize it until there was no turning back. For the first time in a long time, I couldn't wait for each new day, to see the look on her face when I entered the room. It felt good to have my feelings returned." He glanced at Kathryn quickly then averted his eyes again. "I'm not sorry it happened. She made me very happy." he said, then almost in a whisper added "The short time she was here."

And there it was, out in the open. The words, finally spoken, could never be taken back. Why then, he wondered, didn't he feel the relief he had expected?

Kathryn was quiet for several moments, praying she could find the right words. Slowly she stood and stepped closer to the bannister, unable to face him. Crossing her arms she began. "Since we're bearing our souls here, I have something to say too." she said softly. After quietly clearing her throat she went on, her voice a bit stronger. "I think I...no, I knew you had feelings for me. Hell, I think the whole ship knew it. For reasons you well know, I wouldn't allow myself to get too close. By never approaching it with you, it was easier to pretend it wasn't real. I'm not saying it wasn't difficult for me. It was. But as hard as it was, it turned out to be the best for you and for Seven. And that beautiful little girl in there." She took a deep breath before going on. "I saw how happy she made you and I cared enough about you to be happy for you." Despite trying to be strong, her voice waivered slightly. Chakotay stood and turned her to face him. She was relieved to see his boyish grin as he put his hand on her cheek and brushed away a tear with his thumb.

"That wasn't so hard now, was it?" he asked. Kathryn rolled her eyes and smiled. "Friends?" he asked. She looked into his eyes.

"Friends." she said with a quick nod.

They had reached their understanding. The air was clear and they were, if it was possible, even more comfortable with each other. Their time was spent talking, laughing, crying, spoiling Katie and visiting with friends that came by. Two weeks passed quickly and Kathryn began talking of leaving. She told Chakotay that she had some things to do before her assignment and that she really wanted to spend some time with her mother, sister, niece and nephew. She dreaded leaving for she had fallen completely and hopelessly in love with Katie. They shared a strong bond. No matter how fussy Katie became, Kathryn's voice immediately soothed and quieted her. Chakotay had joked that he was going to make a recording of her talking to Katie to keep on hand.

Chakotay didn't try to talk Kathryn out of leaving for he knew it would be selfish. He had no doubt she would stay if he asked.

The day Kathryn was to leave Chakotay tried to be upbeat but she knew him too well. They were on the back porch where so much of their time had been spent over the past two weeks.

"I'll be back to visit soon." she assured him.

"I know." he said with an easy smile.

"I'm as close as a call, you know that. It's not like I'm going to the Delta Quadrant." Kathryn said, seeking to lighten the mood. They both laughed. Chakotay looked at her for a moment.

"I'm so glad you came."

"So am I." she answered sincerely. "Especially since Katie and I have become such good friends."

"She's going to miss you." Chakotay said softly.

"Not as much as I'll miss her." Kathryn said as she stood. "I'll miss you, too." Chakotay stood and they shared a firm hug, Kathryn patting his back.

"Come back soon." he said.

"I promise." she said, her chin on his shoulder. When they stepped back, Kathryn put a hand on his chest and said. "I can see myself out, but I want to say goodbye to Katie first." He nodded. "I'll see you soon." she added.

Chakotay watched her step into the house then sat back down. Twice he reached for the monitor badge on his shirt to turn it off but stopped. In a moment he heard Kathryn's voice as she spoke to Katie.

"Sweet Katie, I've come to say goodbye. I'm going to miss you so very much, do you know that? Now, you be a good girl and take extra good care of your daddy. He misses your mommy so very much. He's very sad and you must help him through this. I know you can do it. I'll be back to see you soon, alright?" Her voice trembled as she said "Goodbye, Katie." A moment later he heard the front door open and then close.

Kathryn's family was very understanding about the time she had spent with Chakotay. They knew how close she was to her former first officer, and that the loss of his wife, also Kathryn's friend, had been devastating.

The last few days of Kathryn's leave were spent taking care of loose ends connected with, and preparing for, her upcoming assignment. She had a lot of material to go over and was having trouble concentrating, something very unusual for her. After reading for half an hour and realizing she had absorbed almost nothing, she sighed and reached for her monitor to place the call. A moment later Chakotay's face appeared. He was glad to see her.

"Katie's been asking about you." he said with a wide grin. Kathryn smiled and shook her head. Chakotay shifted Katie from his shoulder to the crook of his arm and pointed at the screen. "Look, there's Aunt Kathryn."

"Hello Katie Bug." Kathryn said softly, then looked back at Chakotay. "She looks bigger!" Chakotay smiled and glanced down at Katie then back at Kathryn. "Are you both well?" she asked.

"We're fine," he answered, "but we miss you."

"I'll come by as soon as I get back." Kathryn said. "In about six weeks."

"Katie and I will look forward to it." he said. Kathryn did not miss the sadness in his eyes.

"Chakotay," she said gently, "try to get out a little. You both could use some fresh air and sunshine."

"Yes, Ma'am." he teased, knowing she hated the term. "Don't stay away too long. She's growing fast."

"I'll see you both soon." she promised.

Tom called the next day to ask Chakotay if he and B'Elanna could come by for a short visit. They had been unable to visit sooner because Tom had been sent on an assignment.

"You finally made it home!" Chakotay said when he saw Tom on the screen.

"Yeah, and not a moment too soon." Tom said. "B'Elanna's doctor says our little fella could show up any day now."

"That baby's not here yet?" Chakotay asked, very surprised. Tom put a finger to his lips signaling that the subject was not one to bring up. Chakotay heard a loud huff from somewhere in the distance and Tom quickly changed the subject.

"So, are you up to a visit? B'Elanna and I would like to stop by."

"I'd like that." Chakotay said, "Aren't you bringing Miral?"

"Well," Tom said hesitantly, glancing to his left toward B'Elanna who was standing just out of Chakotay's view, "we hadn't planned on it..."

B'Elanna's face appeared in the view screen in front of Tom. "Miral's taking the terrible two's to a whole new level and she's not even two yet." she said seriously, "Sure you're up for her?"

"I'd welcome the distraction," Chakotay laughed, "Hello to you, too, B'Elanna."

"Alright, Old Friend, you asked for it!" she said as she quickly stepped away. "Miral! Put that down!" Chakotay heard her yell. Tom stepped back to the monitor with a sheepish grin.

"You're a brave man, Chakotay." He said. "One wild little Klingon terror and one very volatile, very pregnant Klingon woman, coming up!"

"I heard that!" B'Elanna called from a distance. Tom winced. Chakotay was still laughing when Tom ended the transmisson.

Chakotay answered the door with Katie in his arms and looked fondly at his two dear friends and their pretty daughter. Miral, in her father's arms, looked at Chakotay with curiosity and trepidation. Tom and Chakotay shook hands then Chakotay reached up to touch Miral's cheek. The toddler jerked away and glared at him with an intensity never seen on such a small child. A 'death glare' he thought to himself. "I see she takes after her mother." he said with a grin.

"Didn't I tell ya?" Tom said as he stepped inside. B'Elanna and Chakotay stepped closer to one another and embraced as well as her bulging middle and his holding Katie would allow.

"I've missed you." B'Elanna said as she stepped back.

"Me too." Chakotay said softly. "Come in!" He stepped aside for her to enter the house. "Make yourselves comfortable, please." Chakotay said as they entered the livingroom. Tom had already settled on the sofa, Miral perched on his lap.

"Give me that baby." B'Elanna said as she sat in the leather chair and held out her arms. Chakotay handed Katie to her, beaming with pride. B'Elanna looked down at the infant with a broad smile. "She's so beautiful, Chakotay."

"Thanks. I think so." he said as he sat on the other end of the sofa from Tom. He noticed Miral's glare had intensified at the sight of her mother holding Katie. He also saw that Tom was holding onto Miral firmly as if she would pounce at any moment.

"Yeah, they're sweet at that age." Tom said, immediately regretting it. Chakotay glanced at B'Elanna and saw fire in her eyes.

"Are you saying our daughter is no longer...sweet?" B'Elanna said, obviously trying to keep her tone calm.

"Uh, no, of course not," Tom said, still clinging to a now writhing Miral. "I only meant..." he began, but at that moment Miral's flailing hand hit him in the mouth, making him jump. There was a moment of silence before Chakotay and B'Elanna burst into laughter. Tom slowly smiled then laughed with them as Miral stared at them one by one, as if they'd lost their minds. This only served to make them laugh harder.

They were making casual conversation when they noticed that both Miral and Katie had drifted off to sleep in their father's arms. B'Elanna had been forced to give Katie up to Chakotay earlier when Miral showed no sign of settling down until she did so. Chakotay slowly rose and placed Katie in her cradle. "Tom, you can put Miral in Katie's crib if you like." he said as he settled back on the sofa.

"Good idea." Tom said, carefully getting up so not to wake his sleeping child. "Be right back, folks."

"First door on the right." Chakotay said. When Tom was gone he looked at B'Elanna. He saw sympathy in her eyes and forced up a smile. "I'm alright." he said. B'Elanna pushed herself up and stepped over to sit by him on the sofa, folding her arms around him.

"No, you're not," she said tenderly, "but you will be. In time. You know there are a lot of us who are here for you when you need us, need anything." She gave him a final squeeze and settled back on the sofa, one hand on her belly. Tom reappeared and went to Katie's cradle, bent down to get a closer look.

"She sure is pretty, Chakotay." he said. Noticing that B'Elanna had abandoned the leather chair he took it for himself. Chakotay put an arm around B'Elanna and looked at her, then at Tom.

"It sure is good to see you two." he said.

"Same here." Tom said as he leaned forward, elbows on knees, hands clasped. "We can't tell you how sorry we are about Seven."

Chakotay nodded slowly. "I appreciate that."

"Like I said," B'Elanna added, "if there is anything at all we can do..."

Chakotay looked at her, then at Tom, then at the sleeping Katie. "I do have something to ask the both of you, but first I need a promise."

"You have it." B'Elanna said at the same time Tom said "Name it."

"Promise me that if it's too much to ask, if you have any reservations, you won't be afraid to say no. You don't even have to give me an answer today..."

"Ask" B'Elanna said, putting her hand over his.

"I'd like you to be Katie's guardians if anything should happen to me." he said, watching their reactions.

B'Elanna looked at her husband who was trying to read her. When he saw her slowly smile, her eyes misty, he knew they agreed.

"We'd be honored." Tom said past the lump in his throat. He suddenly stood and extended his hand. They shook firmly. Chakotay then leaned over and kissed B'Elanna's cheek.

"Thank you," he said with a wide smile. "That makes me feel better. Much better."

Kathryn's assignment turned out to be quite mundane and she wondered if Starfleet was giving her these unchallenging ones on purpose. Her thoughts often went to Chakotay and Katie and she realized how very much she missed them, longed to be with them. Maybe Chakotay was right. Could it be time to make a change in her life? To stay closer to home?

One evening Kathryn was relaxing in her readyroom, gazing out the viewport and remembering the conversation she had had with Chakotay about their feelings while in the Delta Quadrant. It had been good to clear the air although the conversation itself had scared the hell out of her. Fear was not an emotion Kathryn handled well, especially when it involved someone close to her. She remembered with a smile how her stomach had knotted and she'd had to remind herself to breathe. She sipped her coffee then rested an elbow on the back of the sofa, her chin in her palm. Her thoughts went back to when she had first caught wind of Chakotay and Seven's relationship. She had entered one of the the cargo bays and found them standing near a storage bin talking. They greeted her at the same time. It wasn't until she had retrieved what she had come for and was on her way to the turbolift that she realized something was not quite right. They had been standing closer than would be normal for a general conversation, yet they had not stepped away from each other when Kathryn entered, which would have been a give away. She tried to remember if there had been anything unusual about their demeanor but could not put a finger on anything. Still, she fell something odd. Several weeks later on one of the evenings she had asked Chakotay to dinner, he had politely declined saying he had made plans. Just before she went to bed that evening she instructed the computer to locate Commander Chakotay.

"Commander Chakotay is in his quarters." came the answer. Kathryn stood there for a long time, talking herself into, out of and back into what she was about to do. She instructed the computer to locate Seven of Nine. The computer chirped then answered "Seven of Nine is in Commander Chakotay's quarters."

So, she had her answer. Kathryn had not been prepared for the roller coaster of emotions that came. Surprise, almost disbelief came first. Resentment that neither had mentioned it to her, followed by realization that they shouldn't find it necessary to tell her anything. It was their own business, of course, as long as it did not interfere with their duties and there had been no indication of that. Sadness came next, which was paticularly difficult for Kathryn. She reminded herself that _she_ was the one that had kept him at bay, never allowing any indication that a relationship between them could be possible. And finally, slowly, happiness. She cared deeply for both Chakotay and Seven and wanted them to be happy. Kathryn chose this feeling, happiness for them, to cling to and pushed the others aside. It was settled for her.

Now, over two years later, she found herself wondering if it had ever been as settled as she had convinced herself it was.

"Damn." she whispered as she stood and headed for the doors to the bridge. Rather than further examine her feelings, she chose to busy herself otherwise.

Chakotay had decided to take Kathryn's advice and get out of the house for a while. He had begun to feel the stirrings of restlessness which he told himself was a good sign. Kathryn's visit had helped him get through the early, most difficult time of grief. In the few weeks since she'd left he had had lots of time to think, to remember, to further grieve. The evening hours before sleep came were the hardest. This was when he and Seven had spent most of their time together. With each day, however, came a little more relief. Far from being healed, it at least gave him hope for somewhat of a normal future. He knew he had to stay strong for his baby girl was depending on him. As he dressed Katie for a visit to his department at the academy, he spoke softly to her.

"Daddy wants to show you off. You don't mind, do you?" Her dark eyes watched his face as he spoke and Chakotay felt his heart swell to the bursting point. Leaning over her he rested his hands on the changing table at her sides and watched her, his expression peaceful. Only a short time ago if someone had told him he could feel love this overwhelmingly strong, he might've doubted it. The love he'd had for Seven was deep, but it was romantic, adult love. The love he felt for his newborn daughter was all-consuming. It was unlike anything he had ever experienced and it took his breath away. Some days he wondered if he'd survive the intensity of it.

Katie made a soft noise which nudged into his thoughts and a smile spread across his face. Scooping her up he said, "Let's go Katie Bug.", using the nickname Kathryn had given her.

Kathryn materialized in her apartment just after 1800 hours, tossed her case onto the sofa and went immediately to the replicator for coffee. So much for trying to wean herself off caffeine. The dull headache had begun in the shuttle on the way to headquarters after her ship had docked. She went to the sofa and sat down, took sips from the coffee then set it down to remove her boots and uniform jacket. Picking up her cup, she went to the computer and sat down. After checking her messages and finding none that needed immediate attention, she placed a call to Chakotay.

"Hello stranger." he smiled. Kathryn was much relieved to see him looking better than when she had left.

"Hello, Chakotay." she said, "How are you?"

"Better." he answered.

"And Katie?" Kathryn asked.

"She's fine. No, better than that...she's wonderful. I don't know why I waited so long to have a child." The moment the words left his mouth, he realized how funny it sounded. Suddenly they were laughing.

"Well," Kathryn said, "I seem to remember a little seven year detour along the way." Chakotay was grinning and shaking his head. "It's good to hear you laugh." Kathryn said.

"How was your mission?" he asked.

"Successful but _boring_!" she said, leaning back and holding her coffee cup in both hands.

"Hmmmm..." Chakotay said, pretending to be puzzled.

"What does that mean?" Kathryn insisted.

"That doesn't sound like you." he answered, forcing down a smile that still showed in his eyes. "I seem to remember you telling me that your life is on the bridge of a ship." He was teasing her and enjoying it too much.

"Damn," she said softly "you always did have a good memory."

Chakotay chuckled. "I thought you were coming by when you got back."

"I will, tomorrow." Kathryn said. "I just want a long soak and another cup of coffee." She smiled and leaned closer to the monitor. "Is that alright?"

"Of course." he nodded, "I'll tell Katie."

"Give her a kiss for me?"

"Aye, Captain." he teased, then grinned fondly. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

When Chakotay opened his front door with Katie in his arms, Kathryn immediately took the baby from him and stepped by him into the house. Chakotay looked down at his empty hands as he shook his head and closed the door. Putting his hands on his hips he said "Hello to you, too!"

"Sorry." Kathryn said then turned on her heel and walked back to him. To his surprise, she stood on her toes and kissed his cheek. As he reached up to to touch his cheek where she had kissed him she said. "All better now?" Without waiting for an answer she looked down at Katie and said, "See how fragile they are?"

They talked, catching up on the weeks since she had left. Kathryn wanted to hear all about what Katie had done, how many ounces of formula she was taking at each feeding now, was she sleeping longer between feedings or even sleeping through the night? Though Katie and already eaten, she became fussy and would not sleep. Chakotay told Kathryn she was fighting sleep because she didn't want to miss anything. Kathryn put Katie on her shoulder and began walking with her, talking softly. Chakotay went into the kitchen to make a fresh pot of coffee. When Kathryn had gotten Katie to sleep and put her to bed, she came into the kitchen where Chakotay sat at the table with two cups of coffee in front of him. Pretending to brush something from her hands she said "Nothing to it." and sat down. Chakotay gave her a look as he slid a cup of coffee to her. "Alright, I lied." she said with a laugh. She lifted the cup and drank, rolled her eyes and said, "Mmmm...the good stuff."

Chakotay laughed and took a drink from his own cup. Kathryn looked at him closely...yes, he _was_ better and her heart rejoiced. It had been hard to see him in such deep pain. "How are you doing?" she asked softly. He put his cup down, seemed thoughtful for a moment then met her gaze.

"I'm going to be fine." he answered.

Kathryn's expression softened and she nodded, relieved. They both knew it was true, that someday, he would be himself again. As she leaned back in her chair, she stared at her coffee cup for several moments, lost in thought.

"Kathryn?" Chakotay said finally, realizing she had something on her mind. She glanced up at him for a moment then looked back at her cup.

"I had a lot of free time while I was away. I thought of Seven a lot." Kathryn knew that it sometimes did those in mourning good to talk about their lost loved ones. She was offering him a chance to get some things off his mind if he so desired. "I'm glad she found so much happiness." she finished.

There was a flash of anger in his eyes but he immediately forced it down. Even though he sometimes had to fight the urge to rant and rave about the unfairness of her death, or to keep himself from putting a fist through a wall, he could not spew his anger in Kathryn's presence.

"I just wish she..." he began, but his voice broke and he could not go on. Kathryn quickly reached out to cover his hands with hers.

"I'm sorry. I thought you might want to talk." She removed one hand and touched her fingertips to her forehead. "I shouldn't have..." Her hand now went to his forearm as she leaned forward. "Chakotay, I didn't mean to cause you any more pain."

"I know that." he assured her. "I realize that talking about her is good. It's just that sometimes I get so angry that she...that she was taken at the happiest time of her life. She didn't even get to see our baby."

"You have every right to be angry. I feel it too." Kathryn looked into his eyes, her heart aching for him. "It's so unfair."

Chakotay went to get the coffee carafe and refilled their cups. When he returned the carafe he stared out the window for a moment then spoke, keeping his back to her. "She insisted on naming Katie after you, even though she knew how I felt about you."

Kathryn felt her heart skip a beat in her surprise. She put her elbows on the table and covered her face with her hands. When he turned and saw her this way, he went to sit across from her and pulled her hands away, leaned in to make her look at him. "She never held it against either of us, Kathryn. She loved us both."

"I know." Kathryn whispered, tears filling her eyes.

"I didn't tell you this to upset you." he said regretfully.

"Why _did_ you tell me?" she asked sadly.

Chakotay let go of her hands and leaned back in his chair. "I'm not sure," he said, "maybe so you would know how much you meant to her."

"Did you at least tell her that nothing happened between us?" she asked.

"Yes." he answered.

Suddenly uncomfortable under his gaze, Kathryn stood and went out onto the deck. He did not follow immediately, giving her a few moments of privacy as he remembered the night Seven had brought up the subject of him and Captain Janeway. They were lying in bed in the dark having just made love.

_"You were in love with Captain Janeway" Seven had said. It was a statement, not a question. After a moment of silence, he had answered._

_"Yes, Seven, I was. For a while."_

_"Captain Janeway did not return your feelings?"_

_"I never told her how I felt." he answered. There was a long silence which he assumed meant she was trying to understand._

_"Why did you not tell her?" she asked._

_"It wouldn't have been appropriate."_

_"It is sad," Seven said, "that you were alone for so long."_

_Chakotay had raised up on one elbow and looked down at her, barely able to make out her face in the darkenss. "But I found you." he'd said. She had reached up to place a hand on his cheek and said "Thank you, for being honest with me."_

Chakotay stood, went outside and found Kathryn standing at the porch railing, arms crossed, staring into the backyard. He stood beside her resting his fingertips on the railing and did not speak.

"Why did you tell her?" Kathryn asked.

"I would probably never have told her, but she asked me about it one night and I was honest with her."

Kathryn was silent for a long time before she said "She was a remarkable woman." From the corner of her vision she saw him nod. He was remembering the day in the nursery when Kathryn had told Katie the same thing while he stood in the hallway listening. "We're both so fortunate to have had her in our lives." she added, turning to face him. He looked at her but his gaze was distant.

"Yes," he said, "very fortunate." Once again he realized how blessed he was to have Kathryn in his life. Though at one time he'd wanted much more than she'd been ready to give, he was thankful for the special kind of love they'd been able to salvage. It defied description yet held them fast to each other. They stepped closer to each other and shared a long hug.


	3. Waiting Hearts Chapter 3

Chakotay had decided to take Kathryn's advice and get out of the house for a while. He had begun to feel the stirrings of restlessness which he told himself was a good sign. Kathryn's visit had helped him get through the early, most difficult time of grief. In the few weeks since she'd left he had had lots of time to think, to remember, to further grieve. The evening hours before sleep came were the hardest. This was when he and Seven had spent most of their time together. With each day, however, came a little more reliefand though far from being healed, it at least gave him hope for somewhat of a normal future. He knew he had to stay strong. His baby girl was depending on him.

As he dressed Katie for a visit to his department at the academy, he spoke softly to her. "Daddy wants to show you off. You don't mind, do you?" Her dark eyes watched his face as he spoke and Chakotay felt his heart swell to the bursting point. Leaning over her he rested his hands on the changing table and watched her, his expression peaceful. Only a short time ago if someone had told him he could feel love this overwhelmingly strong, he might've doubted it. The love he'd had for Seven was deep, but romantic, adult love. The love he felt for his newborn daughter was all-consuming. It was unlike anything he had ever experienced and it took his breath away. Some days he wondered if he'd survive the intensity of it.

Katie made a soft noise which nudged into his thoughts and a smile spread across his face. Scooping her up he said, "Let's go Katie Bug.", using the nickname Kathryn had given her.

Kathryn materialized in her apartment just after 1800 hours, tossed her case onto the sofa and went immediately to the replicator for coffee. So much for trying to wean herself off caffeine. The dull headache had begun in the shuttle on the way to headquarters after her ship had docked. She went to the sofa and sat down, took sips from the coffee then set it down to remove her boots and uniform jacket. Picking up her cup, she went to the computer and sat down. After checking her messages and finding none that needed immediate attention, she placed a call to Chakotay.

"Hello stranger." he smiled. Kathryn was much relieved to see him looking better than when she had left.

"Hello, Chakotay." she said, "How are you?"

"Better." he answered.

"And Katie?" Kathryn asked.

"She's fine. No, better than that...she's wonderful. I don't know why I waited so long to have a child." The moment the words left his mouth, he realized how funny it sounded. Suddenly they were laughing.

"Well," Kathryn said, "I seem to remember a seven year detour along the way." Chakotay was grinning and shaking his head. "It's good to hear you laugh." Kathryn said.

"How was your trip?" he asked.

"Boring!" she said, leaning back and holding her coffee cup in both hands.

"Hmmmm..." Chakotay said, pretending to be puzzled.

"What does that mean?" Kathryn insisted.

"That doesn't sound like you." he answered, forcing down a smile that showed in his eyes. "I seem to remember you telling me that your life is on the bridge of a ship." He was teasing her and enjoying it too much.

"Damn," she said softly "you always did have a good memory."

Chakotay chuckled. "I thought you were coming by when you got back."

"I will, tomorrow." Kathryn said. "I just want a long soak and another cup of coffee." She smiled and leaned closer to the monitor. "Is that alright?"

"Of course." he nodded, "I'll tell Katie."

"Give her a kiss for me?"

"Aye, Captain." he teased, then grinned fondly. "Goodnight."

When Chakotay opened his front door with Katie in his arms, Kathryn immediately took the baby from him and stepped by him into the house. Chakotay looked down at his empty hands as he shook his head and closed the door. Putting his hands on his hips he said "Hello to you, too!"

"Sorry." Kathryn said then turned on her heel and walked back to him. To his surprise, she stood on her toes and kissed his cheek. As he reached up to to touch his cheek where she had kissed him she said. "All better now?" Without waiting for an answer she looked down at Katie and said, "See how fragile they are?"

They talked, catching up on the weeks since she had left. Kathryn wanted to hear all about what Katie had done, how many ounces of formula she was taking at each feeding now, was she sleeping longer between feedings or even sleeping through the night? Though Katie had already eaten, she became fussy and would not sleep. Chakotay told Kathryn she was fighting sleep because she didn't want to miss anything. Kathryn put Katie on her shoulder and began walking with her, talking softly while Chakotay went into the kitchen to make a fresh pot of coffee. When Kathryn had gotten Katie to sleep and put her to bed, she came into the kitchen where Chakotay sat at the table with two cups of coffee. Pretending to brush something from her hands she said "Nothing to it." and sat down. Chakotay gave her a look as he slid a cup of coffee to her. "Alright, I lied." she said with a laugh. She lifted the cup and drank, rolled her eyes and said, "Mmmm...the good stuff."

Chakotay laughed and took a drink from his own cup. Kathryn looked at him closely...yes, he _was_ better and her heart rejoicedfor it had been hard for her to see him in such deep pain. "How are you doing?" she asked softly. He put his cup down, seemed thoughtful for a moment then met her gaze.

"I'm going to be fine." he answered.

Kathryn's expression softened and she nodded, relieved. They both knew it was true, that someday, he would be himself again. As she leaned back in her chair, she stared at her coffee cup for several moments, lost in thought.

"Kathryn?" Chakotay said finally, realizing she had something on her mind. She glanced up at him for a moment then looked back at her cup.

"I had a lot of free time while I was away. I thought of Seven a lot." Kathryn knew that it sometimes did those in mourning good to talk about their lost loved ones and she was offering him a chance to get some things off his mind if he so desired. "I'm glad she found so much happiness." she finished.

There was a flash of anger in his eyes but he immediately forced it down. Even though he sometimes had to fight the urge to rant and rave about the unfairness of her death, or to keep himself from putting a fist through a wall, he could not spew his anger in Kathryn's presence.

"I just wish she..." he began, but his voice broke and he could not go on. Kathryn quickly reached out to cover his hands with hers.

"I'm sorry. I thought you might want to talk." She removed one hand and touched her fingertips to her forehead. "I shouldn't have..." Her hand now went to his forearm as she leaned forward. "Chakotay, I didn't mean to cause you any more pain."

"I know that." he assured her. "I realize that talking about her is good. It's just that sometimes I get so angry that she...that she was taken at the happiest time of her life. She never even got to see the baby.."

"You have every right to be angry. I feel it too." Kathryn looked into his eyes, her heart aching for him. "It's so unfair."

Chakotay went to get the coffee carafe and refilled their cups. When he returned the carafe he stared out the window for a moment then spoke, keeping his back to her. "She insisted on naming Katie after you, even though she knew how I felt about you."

Kathryn felt her heart skip a beat in her surprise. _Oh my God, _she thought, _he told her. _She put her elbows on the table and covered her face with her hands. When he turned and saw her this way, he went to sit across from her and pulled her hands away, leaned in to make her look at him. "She never held it against either of us, Kathryn. She loved us both."

"I know." Kathryn whispered, tears filling her eyes.

"I didn't tell you this to upset you." he said regretfully.

"Why _did_ you tell me?" she asked sadly.

Chakotay let go of her hands and leaned back in his chair. "I'm not sure," he said, "maybe so you would know how much you meant to her."

"Did you tell her that nothing happened between us?" she asked.

"Yes." he answered.

Suddenly uncomfortable under his gaze, Kathryn stood and went out onto the deck. He did not follow immediately, giving her a few moments of privacy as he remembered the night Seven had brought up the subject of him and Captain Janeway. They were lying in bed in the dark having just made love.

_"You were in love with Captain Janeway" Seven had said. It was a statement, not a question. After a moment of silence, he had answered._

_"Yes, Seven, I was. For a while."_

_"Captain Janeway did not return your feelings?"_

_"I never told her how I felt." he answered. There was a long silence as, he assumed, she tried to understand.._

_"Why did you not tell her?" she asked._

_"It wouldn't have been appropriate."_

_"It is sad," Seven said, "that you were alone for so long."_

_Chakotay had raised up on one elbow and looked down at her, barely able to make out her face in the darkenss. "But I found you." he'd said. She had reached up to place a hand on his cheek and said "Thank you, for being honest with me."_

Chakotay stood, went outside and found Kathryn standing at the porch railing, arms crossed, staring into the backyard. He stood beside her resting his fingertips on the railing and did not speak.

"Why did you tell her?" Kathryn asked.

"I probably never would have told her, but she asked me about it one night and I was honest with her."

Kathryn was silent for a long time. His honesty was one of the qualities she had admired in him for all the years they had known each other. While he probably would have kept it to himself, when his wife questioned him about it, it was only natural for him to tell the truth. "She was a remarkable woman." Kathryn said softly. From the corner of her vision she saw him nod. He was remembering the day in the nursery when Kathryn had told Katie the same thing while he stood in the hallway listening. "We're both so fortunate to have had her in our lives." she added, turning to face him. He looked at her but his gaze was distant.

"Yes," he said, "very fortunate." Turning to look at her he once again realized how blessed he was to have Kathryn in his life. Though at one time he'd wanted much more than she'd been ready to give, he was thankful for the special kind of love they'd been able to salvage. It defied description yet held them fast to each other.

Over the next few months Kathryn, Chakotay and Katie spent a lot of time together. In her entire career, Kathryn Janeway had never used all the personal time off she accumulated, until Katie was born. She found herself taking short assignments instead of those which required her to be gone weeks on end, and enjoying being at home more. She was thrilled to be able to watch Katie grow before her own eyes. She had witnessed Katie roll over for the first time and later had been present the first time Katie sat up on her own. Chakotay had called her when Katie began crawling and she watched through the monitor almost holding her breath when Katie swayed one way or another Shortly after she returned from an assignment, Katie started to pull herself up to a standing position. Kathryn could not have loved Katie more if she had given birth to her herself.

When Katie was almost four months old Chakotay began talking of going back to work. He was amused when Kathryn wanted to meet the nanny he had on standby but realized that she was quite serious. Rather than explain all the research and interviews Seven had done before settling on Chloe, Chakotay humored Kathryn and arranged a meeting. Chakotay breathed a sigh of relief when Kathryn approved of Chloe.

Tom and B'Elanna stopped by Chakotay's house unannounced one evening and were a little surprised but glad to find Kathryn there. They had left their children with Tom's parents for the evening and gone on a date, deciding over dinner to drop in on Chakotay. They seemed almost giddy with silly smiles plastered on their faces and Kathryn got a strange feeling at their behaviour that she could not put a finger on. Unknown to her, Chakotay had felt it too. Truth was, Tom and B'Elanna had not forgotten how close their former captain and first officer had been, and had never given up hope that they woulf find each other. Though it was too soon after Seven's death to think anything was going on between them, Tom and B'Elanna thought that Kathryn's spending so much time with Chakotay was a good sign. A sign of hope.

When Katie was ten months old Kathryn was given an assignment that would take her away for 4-6 weeks. Kathryn was upset. That evening after she and Chakotay had had dinner, Katie was bathed and tucked in, Kathryn approached Chakotay on the back porch.

"I'm going to miss her first steps." she said sadly as she sank into the rocker next to his.

"I'll record it for you." Chakotay said with a smile.

Kathryn started to speak then snapped her mouth shut and leaned back in the chair with a definate pout on her face.

"Go ahead and say it." he said, trying not to laugh.

"Say what?" she said.

"You don't want to leave." he said.

Kathryn shot him a look. "So now you can read my mind?"

"I just know you, Kathryn." he said, his smile fading and his tone gentle. "And I know how much Katie means to you."

Kathryn's expression softened and she nodded. "I love her so much. I hate the thought of being away so long. Besides, this assignment promises to be more boring than the last."

"I never thought I'd hear you refer to a mission as boring." Chakotay chuckled. "But I have an idea."

"What?"

"Something to help keep you occupied during your free time."

"I'm listening." she said, curious now.

"What would you say to planning Katie's first birthday party?" Chakotay said. When he saw a flicker of excitement in her eyes, he knew he had her. "But not just a kid's party, something for the adults as well. Katie would be the guest of honor of course, but..."

"Who were you thinking of inviting?" Kathryn asked.

"Everyone important to us."

Kathryn looked into his eyes. She was touched by the word 'us' knowing he meant her as well as himself and Katie. "It sounds wonderful." she said, the wheels already turning in her head as she stood and went to the door to go inside.

"Where are you going?" he called after.

"To get a padd!" she called back from inside the house. Chakotay laughed and shook his head.


	4. Waiting Hearts Chapter 4

Kathryn sat in her readyroom waiting for word that Beta shift was on duty. She gazed out the viewport, her thoughts on the party plans. She wanted this to be an especially happy occasion since Katie's entrance into the world had been clouded by her mother's death. Over the previous months Kathryn had seen Chakotay slowly becoming himself again and was more than happy to be planning something fun and special. Her door chime sounded and she called "Come in." Her first officer, Greg Annavil, entered with a smile and handed her a padd.

"Thank you Commander." she said, placing it on her desk without looking at it. "Condense it for me, please."

Standing at ease, hands crossed behind him he said. "Beta shift is on duty. Ensign Kensington is filling in for Lt. Corbin who is in sickbay with a slight injury. All systems within normal parameters, and the diagnostics you ordered are being finished as we speak."

Kathryn smiled and stood. "I love it when a ship runs smoothly." She came around her desk and stood in front of him. "Are you sure you don't mind taking Beta?" she asked.

"Not at all, Captain. Glad to do my part to make Katie's party a success."

Kathryn smiled broadly. "You know, after all these years, it still amazes me how fast word travels on a ship without one combadge being touched."

Greg smiled and turned to leave. "Enjoy your evening, Captain." he said.

In her quarters Kathryn removed her uniform jacket and settled on the sofa with a padd. Slowly she scrolled through the items she had already listed: Invitations, cake, food, beverages, cups, flatware, plates, napkins, tablecloths and canopies. As she paused to think, her computer alerted her to an incoming call and she went to sit in front of her computer. When she touched a button, Chakotay's face appeared at the same time Katie's wails filled Kathryn's quarters. Kathryn's brows shot upward and before she could ask the obvious question, Chakotay said: "Can you talk to Katie?" Kathryn nodded. Chakotay bent, out of her view for a moment, then reappeared as he lifted Katie. "Look Honey," he said above her cries, "It's Aunth Kathryn."

"Katie, Katie," Kathryn said soothingly, leaning closer to the monitor. "what's the matter? Why all the tears?" Katie almost immediately quieted and reached for the screen with a chubby hand. "Hi, Katie Bug!" Kathryn smiled when she had the child's attention. "Chakotay, what happened?" she asked, still looking at Katie.

"I'm not sure but I think she had a nightmare. She woke up crying and I couldn't calm her down." he said, sounding very worried.

"She seems alright now." Kathryn said, smiling at Katie.

"I'm sorry, Kathryn. I just didn't know what else to do." Chakotay said sincerely.

Kathryn shook her head. "Please don't apologize. I'm glad you called."

Katie looked up at her father and blurted a strange word. "Yes, Sweetheart." Chakotay said and kissed her cheek.

"What did she say?" Kathryn asked. Chakotay gave her a look that told her he had no idea.

"Katie," Kathryn said as Katie looked back at her, "have you been a good girl?" Katie loudly blurted the odd word again. Kathryn looked at Chakotay and said, "You really have to find out what that word means."

Chakotay smiled. "I'll work on it." Katie began to wriggle, wanting to be put down. "Hold on." he said to Kathryn. She saw him walk to the other side of the room and put Katie in her playpen, surrounding her with her with toys. She reached for a toy and seemed happy to play for the moment. When Chakotay returned to the screen, he grinned sheepishly. "I owe you one."

"No, you don't." Kathryn said waving a hand.

"How are the party plans going?" he asked, changing the subject.

"I'm on it!" she answered. "I'll go over it with you as soon as I get back."

"When might that be?" he asked with his dimpled grin.

"As of right now, it looks like a week sooner than expected if I have anything to do with it." She answered with a sly grin.

"Don't work 'em too hard," he chuckled, "you don't want a mutiny on your hands." They laughed at the thought. "I won't keep you any longer," Chakotay added, more seriously. "Again, thank you."

"Stop." she said as she held up a hand for a moment before Chakotay smiled and said, "See you soon."

"Goodnight." she said, and ended the transmisison.


	5. Waiting Hearts Chapter 5

The party turned into a much larger event than Chakotay or Kathryn had originally intended yet they were thrilled with the result. Kathryn, with Katie on her hip, mingled with guests and made sure everyone was enjoying themselves. Chakotay greeted guests as well and enjoyed having his favorite people, his family, all around him. To everyone there was a feeling of great joy and togetherness.

Kathryn lowered Katie into her highchair then placed a small cake, which was a perfect miniature of the large one, before her on the tray. She stepped back to stand beside Chakotay as Chloe lit the single candle, and the crowd began singing 'Happy Birthday'. Katie stared at the flame for a moment then began looking at the faces around her as they sang, eyes wide with wonder. When the song ended and as everyone applauded, Chakotay bent to blow out the candle then remove it from the small cake. Kathryn knelt by Katie and kissed her cheek, then dipped a finger into the icing on Katie's cake and put it into her own mouth. Katie had watched the icing go into Kathryn's mouth. getting the idea. She turned back to the cake and stuck both hands in causing an eruption of laughter and more applause from the guests. Chakotay nodded at Chloe letting her know Katie was in her hands then he took Kathryn's elbow as she stood. They stepped to the table where the large cake was and Kathryn nodded to the server to begin cutting.

"Gather 'round!" she announced, "Everyone gets cake!" She drifted back to Katie's side as Chakotay picked up a glass of punch and made his way to a table where Tom sat holding his sleeping son and sat down.

"Thank goodness for naps." Tom joked.

"I'll second that!" Chakotay said with a wide smile, lifting his glass as if in toast. "Where are B'Elanna and Miral?"

Tom nodded toward the cake table where his daughter was standing on her toes, chin on the table, waiting on her piece of cake as B'Elanna stood nearby watching her.

"This party is really something!" Tom said. Chakotay smiled then looked over at Kathryn who was kneeling by Katie, gently wiping icing from the birthday girl's face and hands with a napkin.

"It's all Kathryn's doing," he said, "I can't take any of the credit."

"It's great to see everyone together." Tom said. Chakotay glanced around and nodded. Indeed it was. As if on cue, they raised their glasses in salute.

"To family and old friends." Tom said. They sipped their punch, then Tom added, "Speaking of family, you and Kathryn and Katie sure make a nice one." He purposely averted his eyes to his wife and daughter but watched Chakotay from the corner of his vision. Chakotay had looked at him for a moment then glanced down at his glass.

"Kathryn has been a tremendous help with Katie." Chakotay said softly, "Katie needed a woman's influence and Kathryn stepped up."

"Okay..." Tom said, drawing the word out. Chakotay met his eyes, brows raised. "Oh, come on, Chakotay," Tom said, "it's more than that and you know it." Chakotay looked at him, not sure how to react or what to say. When he made a move to stand Tom reached out and placed a hand on Chakotay's shoulder, stopping him. "You're as stubborn as my wife!"

"Tom," Chakotay began, "I don't think.."

"Bingo!" Tom interrupted. "You don't think."

Chakotay was now quite surprised at the way Tom was talking, at what he was hinting at.

"You know what I'm talking about." Tom went on. "How much of your life, and hers, are you going to let go to waste?"

At that moment B'Elanna came to the table and put a place of cake in front of Tom. She had noticed the strange look on Chakotay's face and met Tom's eyes with a questioning look as she took T'Vall from his arms. "I'll go put him down." she said, then to Chakotay, "Is that alright?"

"Of course." he said, glad for the interruption of this uncomfortable moment as he stood. "I'll walk you in."

"Don't be silly," she said and turned to leave.

When Tom looked up, Chakotay saw an out and said, "I'll go see if Kathryn needs my help."

"Oh, I'm sure she does." Tom said, his tone dripping with sarcasm. He picked up the fork and started to eat cake as Chakotay made a quick exit.

Kathryn was picking up Katie when Chakotay approached with an odd look on his face. Looking up at him, she asked if anything was wrong.

"No, no," he answered a little too quickly.

Kathryn hesitated a moment, not sure she believed that, then said, "Katie wants to open her gifts." She turned her face and touched her forehead to Katie's. "Don't you, Katie Bug?"

"Good idea." Chakotay said. They moved to yet another table, piled high with gifts. Kathryn put Katie down then handed her a gift. Katie held the pretty package for a moment then looked up at Kathryn, not knowing what to do.

"Look," Kathryn said as she knelt and began to tear the wrapping paper away. "See?" she said, "What's in there?" Katie caught on quickly and began tearing paper, giggling. The guests gathered around to watch. Chakotay watched with a wide smile, not knowing which gave him more pleasure, Katie's face or Kathryn's as they ripped into the gifts. Forgotten for the moment were Tom's words and the uneasiness they had caused him.

Chloe began to gather the paper when Katie had opened the last gift and Kathryn picked up Katie, who put her arms out to her father. He took her and kissed her forehead as Kathryn beamed at them then went to get herself a glass of punch. As she took the glass from the server, Harry approached.

"Hello." he said with a smile.

"Hello, Harry!" she said and reached out for a hug. "I was going to find you in a moment. How are you?" she asked, one hand on his shoulder.

"Fine, thank you," he answered, "Great party."

"Thanks." she said, "Katie deserved a happy day, just for her." Her tone was almost sad and Harry nodded slightly. They both knew this day was also the anniversary of Seven's death.

"Well, she has it." Harry said happily. They stood shoulder to shoulder and looked around. "She's so pretty." he said almost dreamily.

"She's quite a handful." Kathryn said. She saw Katie yawning and rubbing her eyes and knew it was time for a nap. "Excuse me, Harry. We'll talk later?"

"Sure." he answered with a smile as she handed him her glass. He watched her cross the yard and approach Chakotay who smiled at her as she took Katie from his arms.

"I think our girl needs her nap." she said to Chakotay.

"I think you're right." he answered.

"I'll go put her down." she said as she patted Katie's back. Katie wrapped her arms around Kathryn's neck and put her head down against her shoulder, eyelids heavy.

"Don't forget this." Chakotay said, handing her a blue stuffed bunny, one of Katie's favorites among her new gifts.

"People," Kathryn said to the guests, "the birthday girl needs a nap." There was a collective 'awww' from the crowd but Kathry held up a hand to quiet them. "But the party's not over! Please enjoy yourselves and I'll be back in a little while."

Kathryn came into the house and was surprised to find B'Elanna sitting on the sofa by the cradle where T'Vaal slept.

"B'Elanna, Chloe can sit with the children while they nap, and you and I can get back to the party." Kathryn said. B'Elanna stood and followed her into Katie's room. "This one will be out in a few minutes." she said as she settled into the rocking chair. B'Elanna smiled and sat on the ottoman in front of Kathryn. "Miral was casing the cake again when I came in." Kathryn said with a laugh.

"She gets very little sugar," B'Elanna said "and she takes full advantage of an opportunity when one come around."

Kathryn rocked slowly, patting Katie's back gently.

"She means a lot to you, doesn't she?" B'Elanna asked.

"That's an understatement," Kathryn said with a slight smile, her eyes filled with tenderness as she rested her chin against Katie's head.

"Chakotay's done an amazing job with her." B'Elanna said softly, then meeting Kathryn's gaze she added meaningfully, "You _both_ have."

"He's a wonderful father," Kathryn said. "Sometimes I wonder if he would've recovered from losing Seven if..." she stopped, unwilling to say the words.

"You were a big part of his recovery too." B'Elanna said, maintaining eye contact.

"He's my dearest friend. He needed me, and I like to think Katie needed me too." Kathryn said almost in a whisper.

B'Elanna paused for a moment and told herself this was as good a time as any.

"He'll always need you." she said, willing Kathryn to grasp her meaning.

"And I will always be there for him." Kathryn said as she looked down and smoothed Katie's dress.

B'Elanna exhaled. "Okay, I'm just going to say this."

Kathryn stopped rocking and looked up at her, wondering what was coming. B'Elanna leaned toward her, her look intense.

"Wake up, Kathryn." she said.

"Excuse me?" Kathryn said, truly confused.

"You are one of, if not _the_ smartest person I've ever known," B'Elanna said, "but this just keeps getting by you year after year."

When Kathryn opened her mouth to speak B'Elanna quickly added, "You and Chakotay _belong_ together."

Kathryn unsuccessfully sought to keep the surprise from her face. Her expression slowly softened as she almost whispered. "That was a long time ago."

"That's nonsense and you know it." B'Elanna almost spat. Kathryn was completely speechless now as anger flashed in her eyes. She rose to put the sleeping Katie in her crib then took B'Elanna's elbow and led her into the livingroom.

Keeping her voice low because of the sleeping infant nearby, she said evenly, "B'Elanna, I don't know if you're just having a bad day, or..."

"I'm having a perfectly lovely day!" she answered, "I'm glad to be with dear friends who mean the world to me." She lowered her voice a bit as her eyes bore into Kathryn's, "But two of those friends are either blind, or fools." With this she sat down hard on the sofa and crossed her arms, ready for what Kathryn would dish out.

"Excuse me?" Kathryn said again, obviously fighting for control, anger just below the surface.

"Everyone sees it but you Kathryn." B'Elanna said, looking at her with defiance. "Or could it be that you _won't_ see it?"

"B'Elanna, he lost his wife. He has a daughter to raise.." Kathryn said with forced calm as she sat in the chair opposite B'Elanna.

"Look, I know he loved Seven." B'Elanna said, "And I'm sorry she died." Leaning forward for emphasis, she went on. "But he loved you long before Seven. As far as I'm concerned, she got him by default."

"B'Elanna!" Kathryn whispered in shock, unable to believe the words she'd just heard.

"I'm sorry," B'Elanna said with a deep sigh as she leaned back again. "I don't mean to sound cruel or insensitive, but this has to be said. You have to take your walls down, Kathryn, before any more precious time is lost. Didn't Seven's death teach you anything? Life is too short to waste another minute of it." She paused and shook her head slowly. "It's up to you, Kathryn. He won't push you, he's not like that." She stood and went to pick up her sleeping son then looked down at Kathryn who was staring straight ahead, still unable to respond. "It was a wonderful party." B'Elanna said softly with as much kindness as she could muster. As she quietly left, she prayed she had gotten through.

Tom, Harry and Chakotay were sitting at a table talking when B'Elanna approached and said to Tom, "Are you ready to go?"

"Sure. Ready when you are." he answered as he stood and put an arm around her shoulders, reaching out with his other to shake hands with Chakotay. "Don't be a stranger." he said, then reached to shake with Harry. "You either, Buddy."

"Thanks for coming." Chakotay said as he stood and leaned over to kiss B'Elanna's cheek. "Behave yourselves." he added.

"Not a chance!" Tom said as he went to collect Miral. B'Elanna was staring at Chakotay.

"What?" he said.

B'Elanna opened her mouth to speak then closed it.

"Something on your mind, Torres?" he asked with a grin.

"No, nothing." she lied. Tom rejoined her with Miral in his arms. "We had a great time." she said softly, turning to leave. "Take care of yourself, Old Man."

When the last of the guests had been seen off, Kathryn went into the kitchen for coffee. Chakotay joined her, leaning against the counter as she poured two cups.

"Kathryn, that was a great party. I can't thank you enough." he said, accepting the cup she handed him.

"I enjoyed it too. No thanks needed." she said, lifting the cup to her lips, gazing out the window.

"Did you see Katie on that hover toy?" Chakotay laughed.

"She is a bit of a daredevil, isn't she?" Kathry said as she turned around and leaned against the counter beside him.

"She must've gotten that from her Aunt Kathryn." he said with a sly smile.

"Sure, blame it one me!" she shot back, bumping his elbow with hers.

Chloe came in with Katie on her hip. "Well, Miss Katie's had her bath." she said, "There was more icing in her hair than on her cake!" She touched her nose to Katie's. Katie smiled then turned and put her arms out to her father. Chakotay handed his cup to Kathryn then stepped over to take his daughter, kissing her cheek and loving her baby scent. Kathryn came up behind him and kissed Katie's hand.

"Chakotay," Chloe said, "Mother has a gift for Katie and she wants to see the birthday girl. Is it alright if I take her over for a little while?"

"I think that would be fine." Chakotay said as he handed Katie back to her. "Just have her back by dinner time." He smiled at his daughter. "You be a good girl."

"She always is." Chloe said, then to Katie. "Tell Daddy and Aunt Kathryn bye-bye." Katie raised a chubby fist then opened and closed it several times. Chakotay and Kathryn laughed and waved as Chloe and Katie turned to leave.

"I need a break." Kathryn said as she went to the table to sit down. "Who knew a child's party could be so exhausting?"

"That was more than just a child's party." he reminded her as he joined her at the table. "I can't believe she's a year old already." he added thoughtfully, resting his elbow on the back of the chair.

"Neither can I." Kathryn said then sipped her coffee. "The first time I saw her, I remember thinking she looked like you. Now she's even more like you."

Chakotay stared past her, distant and in deep thought. Kathryn was sure he was remembering what else today was...the anniversary of the day he lost Seven, and the day his life changed forever. When several moments passed, she spoke softly.

"I'd better go." She rose and stepped to the sink to set her cup down. "The caterer will be sending people to clean up."

"Aren't you staying for dinner?" he asked, brought out of his thoughts by her words.

"Oh no, I'll grab something later." she said, her back still to him.

"Kathryn," Chakotay said, taking her wrist. She turned to look at him. "sit down, please. I need to talk to you." He released her as she went back to the chair opposite him. He pulled his chair closer, rested his elbows on the table and interlaced his fingers. "Tom gave me a little talk today." he said. Kathryn felt herself stiffen slightly as she wondered if it was similar to the one she'd received from B'Elanna. "Told me I was wasting my life...and yours." He paused for a moment as he thought he saw for the very first time stark fear in her eyes. "Would you know anything about that?"

Kathryn rested her crossed arms on the table looking at his hands, willing herself to be calm. "It seems I got a similar talk from B'Elanna." she said, then swallowed. Still unable to meet his eyes, she went on. "She said I need to take my walls down before any more time is lost." Finally she looked up at him.

"What do you think we should do?" he asked with just a hint of a smile.

"Do?" Kathryn said. "Maybe we should tell then to mind their own business!" She was trying to be funny but it did not come across that way and Chakotay's face fell.

"So they're all wrong?" he said. Kathryn felt her heart wrench at the sadness on his face and in his voice. Slowly she uncrossed her arms and reached to cover his hands with hers.

"Oh, Chakotay," she said almost in a whisper, "it seems we've tiptoed around this for so, so long." She looked down at their hands, unable to meet his eyes as she added, "In my mind, our chance had passed."

Chakotay pulled his hands free then grasped hers within them. "But what does your heart tell you?" he asked very softly. Slowly her eyes came up to meet his.

Barely able to speak for the lump in her throat, she whispered, "My heart tells me...it's tired of waiting."

In an instant, he was around the table pulling her to her feet against him. His head was bent over her, hers tilted back, their faces close as they just looked into each other's eyes. Slowly he leaned in and kissed her tenderly, almost shyly. When the kiss ended, without opening her eyes, Kathryn rested her forehead on his chest and he lowered his chin to the crown of her head. They remained this way for several moments as the meaning of this long, long awaited moment sank in. When Kathryn lifted her head to look up at him, she smiled and reached up to brush away a tear. "I'm shaking." she said, a bit embarrassed.

"I know." he said, grinning.

"This is a little scary." she admitted.

"Kathryn Janeway, you've never been afraid of anything a day in your life." he said.

"Well," she said, moving her arms up to encircle his neck. "there's first time for everything."

His smile slowly faded as he looked at her intensely, the enormity of his love clear in his expression. Slowly he leaned toward her again and just before their lips met he whispered, "Don't be afraid."

end Chapter 5


	6. Waiting Hearts Chapter 6

A few months later

B'Elanna had just put the children down for their naps when Tom came into their livingroom and plopped onto the sofa beside her. Leaning toward her he said, "Don't look now, but it seems we're all alone." He tilted his head and kissed her neck. At that moment the door chime sounded and she got up.

"Saved by the bell." she said with a giggle. Tom threw his head back against the sofa and exhaled loudly. B'Elanna opened the door to see a young man in a courier's uniform.

"Mrs. Paris?" he asked to which she nodded. "This is for you and Mr. Paris." he said, handing her an ice blue envelope. She thanked him and closed the door as Tom came up behind her. She carefully slipped a finger under the flap and opened it then removed the card inside as she made her way back to the sofa, reading as she went. Tom followed and sat by her, watching her face. Her eyes grew wide then she let out a yell.

"Shhhhhhh!" Tom warned her, "You'll wake the kids! What _is_ that?"

"Listen to this," she said excitedly then read, "It is our heartfelt wish that you join us on the evening of..." Her hand went to her mouth as her eyes misted. Tom took the card from her.

"...to witness our union and the beginning of our journey together as man and wife..." he read aloud. His eyes skipped to the bottom and he whispered, "Chakotay and Kathryn." He looked at his wife as their smiles broadened before they both let out a yell and fell into a hug. Awakened, the children began to wail yet Tom and B'Elanna were laughing. They stood and put arms around each other's waists and started toward their children's rooms.

"It's about damned time." B'Elanna said, still smiling and looking down at the card in her hand.

"I'll say!" Tom added.

Harry and Libby had spent the morning in bed discussing baby names and talking about how their lives were about to be changed forever. Their baby was due any day. Harry lay one hand on Libby's extended stomach and with the other reached for the card on the nightstand.

"I still can't believe it." he said,

"But you're happy about it?" Libby asked, knowing he was thrilled. She moved his hand and turned onto her side, getting as close to him as her middle would allow.

"Absolutely," he answered, " but I'd just about given up hope that it would ever happen."

"It's so romantic." Libby said as she kissed his neck then tilted her head back to look up at him. Harry looked down at her and smiled. "Yes. Yes it is." he said, and kissed the tip of her nose.

Tuvok stood in his garden watching the sun set, hands folded behind him. He did not hear his wife approach until she was at his side holding the card out to him. He accepted it with a brow raised in question to which she replied, "It is good news." With this she turned and silently left him as he raised the card and read. When he had finished, his expression softened ever so slightly and the corners of his mouth lifted almost imperceptibly. "Good news indeed." he said aloud, then turned back to the setting sun.

Neelix sat at the monitor reading the message for the second time. Since his presence at the event was impossible, he had received an announcement rather than an invitation. Leaning back in his chair he smiled broadly. "Well Captain, Commander," he said aloud, "this is very, very good news."

_Dreams can be forgiving when taken from the mind and made real within the heart..._

Kathryn stood in front of the full length mirror looking at her reflection. Her pale peach suit, a thigh length tunic and flowing fluid pants, fell gracefully on her form. Her hair was put up in a cluster of loose curls with a few falling around her face. Her boquet of six white roses was held together with a simple peach ribbon. Her heart was full, her spirit settled. There were no jitters, no hint of doubt. Only the clear feeling that everything was finally, finally right.

"Ready?" B'Elanna said softly from behind her. Kathryn turned and hugged her friend tightly.

"I'm more than ready." she said as she linked her arm through B'Elanna's.

"Took you long enough." B'Elanna sniped as they left the room.

Chakotay wore a light gray suit with a miniature white rose on his lapel. He was standing at a window which faced the ocean, staring down at the small gold band in his palm. He felt such peace and quiet joy, and certainty that this day had been well worth the long wait.

"It's time." Tom said as he came up behind Chakotay and put a hand on his shoulder. Chakotay turned and shook Tom's hand, at the same time pocketing the ring.

"Let's do it." Chakotay said with a wide grin.

On an oceanside clifftop terrace their friends and family had gathered to witness their union. For many present, it had been far too long in coming and there were many tears shed before the bride and groom even appeared. Tuvok walked straight and proud with Kathryn on his arm. She smiled very slightly with her eyes focused only on Chakotay as he stood tall, his hands folded in front of him, smiling proudly and never once taking his eyes off her as she approached. When she and Tuvok reached him, Kathryn handed her boquet to B'Elanna then turned to face Tuvok and whispered, "You're not going to like this, but..." With this she reached up to kiss his cheek. His vulcan brows revealed his surprise bringing muffled chuckles from the guests. Tuvok then turned to shake Chakotay's hand and received a firm clap on the back as well. As rehearsed, Tuvok then put Kathryn's hand in Chakotay's and took his position beside Tom.

Chakotay and Kathryn looked at each other for a moment then turned to face Admiral Paris. He smiled at them then addressed the crowd.

"Family and friends, we are gathered here this evening to witness the union of Chakotay and Kathryn. It is their wish to share with you the beginning of their journey together as man and wife. Hear them now as they recite their vows to each other." With this, he nodded slightly at Kathryn.

When she and Chakotay had turned to face each other, their hands clasped between them, she looked into his dark eyes and said:

_"More than a decade ago I was sent to find you. How could I have known that I would not only find the best friend I've ever had but the one who would fill my heart and make my life whole? For this I am eternally thankful." _She paused and blinked back tears. _"On this day, in the presence of everyone important to us, I pledge to you my friendship, my loyalty, my faithfulness and my everlasting love." _She looked down, took the gold band from her thumb and slid it onto his ring finger. Looking back into his eyes, now barely able to speak past a whisper she added, _"For the rest of my life, I can't imagine a day without you."_

Chakotay's expression clearly showed how deeply she had touched him and for a moment he dared not try to speak past the lump in his throat. Kathryn squeezed his hands gently and winked, making him smile. As his smile slowly faded, he swallowed and fianlly spoke:

_"The spirits smiled upon me the day you came into my life. Our journey has been long, with great peaks and valleys, yet you have remained steadfast by my side and within my heart. Your friendship is my greatest treasure, but your love is truly my salvation. I pledge to you this day all of myself and all of my love, for all the days of my life." _He took the ring from his pocket and put in on her finger. Kathryn looked down at it then back at him, tears threatening to spill. Admiral Paris now spoke although he wondered if they heard a word, so caught up were they in gazing at each other. Just as he was about to tell Chakotay he could kiss his bride, Katie broke free of Chloe's grasp. She ran up front and wrapped her arms around their legs, breaking their gaze and bringing laughter from the guests. Chakotay smiled and picked her up, kissed her cheek.

"Chakotay, with Katie's permission," Admiral Paris said, "you may kiss your bride."

Chakotay encircled Kathryn's waist with his free arm and pulled her to him. As he kissed her the guests rose to their feet in loud applause. Katie turned to look at the commotion then began clapping her hands. Chakotay and Kathryn ended their kiss with a meaningful look, then began to laugh at Katie who seemed to be enjoying all the attention of the crowd.

"I think she approves." Kathryn said above the still noisy applause. Chakotay nodded with his dimpled grin then leaned in to kiss his wife again.

end-


End file.
